Sunday, May 31, 2015

Long Gone

i tear myself apart in hopes to feel
in hopes to rid this pain
but when the harshness of life becomes too real
i never truly have anything to gain.

this hurt within me won’t go away 
it drags me down and beats me up
sometimes i think it’s here to stay  
sometimes i think i’m without any luck.

and when life is too much for me to take
i look through that drawer for my old friend 
when i grow tired of all this pain and ache
i slice myself open and say this is the end.

i haven’t give up yet no not quite 
i still hold onto things in my life
i still hold onto that bit of fight
even if my wrist just kissed a knife.

i wonder what people think
when they find out what i do when i’m alone
do they judge me before they can even blink
or do they wonder what other secrets i haven’t shown.

they look at me and shake their head
while whispering to their friends 
they probably just wish i was dead 
that would be how my story would end.

a broken girl with scarred up arms 
and a voice that cracks 
a hurting girl who set off no alarms 
one who had a mind that couldn’t relax.

i lay in bed contemplating the things i’ve done 
wondering what is best for the long run
my fingers trace the fading scars 
as my eyes gaze upon the shining stars. 

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